I have allowed the quotidian to conquer my mental landscape.
I have let this happen because I won’t just pull the trigger and go the ¿#☆€ to sleep.
Although I work an enviable 8 to 4, Monday to Friday schedule, I feel like the narrator in R.E.M.’s song “Daysleeper.”
How did this happen? I let myself read too many scattered articles on the internet (I’m beginning to hate Facebook), and too few really good books … especially paper books (I love my kindle, but it’s just not the same).
I’ve let this happen by listening to too much disposable radio music and too much nostalgic 80’s music, and not enough music that’s actually poetic, with imagery and metaphor in the lyrics.
I’ve lost touch with the music that fired my when I was younger and had imagination to spare.
And heaven knows when I last read actual poetry.
To make a long story short, I have let my creative gas tank run empty.
That’s fairly easy to fix. Ideas are cheap, and quick flashes of inspiration can be found almost every day.
That isn’t the real problem. Grab a gas can, get a ride to the gas station, and fill up.
The real problem is that I have let the moving parts get dry. I haven’t done the deep, long-term maintenance to keep the engine in good running order.
So even when the tank has gas in it, and I try to write, it’s like grinding gears together.
I went years without an oil change, and now I need a major tune-up.
This isn’t unfixable: creative engines have come back from much worse, and in worse conditions.
But it does have to be fixed. Even if I didn’t want to write fiction again, I’d still need a fully-functioning imagination.
Next time, we’ll look at proposed methodology for fixing the problem. I may even throw in a hypothesis or two. 🙂