Previously, I discussed Kelly McGonigal’s advice to tell yourself, when you feel stress, that your body’s reaction (faster heartbeat and breathing) is preparing you to face the challenge ahead.
So what do you do when most of the stress you feel is rumination, fear of disapproval, frustration, or existential anxiety?
I think pat of the answer may be found in my post on love, fear, and Frozen, or in 1 John 4:18 “there is no fear in love, for perfect love casts out fear.”
Try to act out of love for the person you’re worried about.
If they love you, remember that love, and remember that they aren’t just waiting to judge you harshly.
If you are actually dealing with a harsh judge, a perfectionist, externalize that to them. For the sake of your job or whatever, you may have to deal with their criticism and ridiculous standards, but keep that voice outside your head.
We’ve all had to deal with people like that. I have in the past. Thankfully, I don’t now, but things could change for the worse.
And those people can leave deep marks, especially if you encounter them when you’re a child.
It’s okay not to like or respect bosses, teachers, or even family members. You have to treat them respectfully, but they don’t get to define your real value.
Now, keep telling yourself that until you believe it. I’ll be right there with you.